December 23, 2005

December 23, 2005

Life is funny, you like to think that you know the times in your life that are important and you will remember them. My experiences have led me to believe that you don’t know the important moments in your life until they have passed. I didn’t realize it until much later that December 23, 2005 would be so important to me. December 23, 2005 was the last Christmas my parents were married to each other.

I know I am rolling a few days in with December 23, but you have to understand that my family does not know how to stay married and that has led me to having four different Christmases to attend. Quite often my normal holiday schedule will look like this:

– Aunt Janette’s (Dad’s aunt’s side) the weekend before or after Christmas

– Grandma Teri’s (Dad’s mother’s side) Christmas day around noon

– Grandma Vickie’s (Dad’s step mother’s side) Christmas day at six

– Grandma Vicki’s (Mom’s side) Christmas Eve at six

I was unaware at the time that my parent’s marriage was failing. They tried their best to keep me in the dark until I graduated from high school, six months later. I look back at Christmas 2005 and realize that was the last Christmas that I was a child. My parents divorce hit me really hard. Looking back, I realize they were too young to truly know who they were or what they wanted out of life.

When my parents were married, we were able to group a couple of family branches together and have a super Christmas with about 25 people. After the divorce, we went to the aforementioned schedule. That schedule is not only tiring, but also sucks the holiday spirit out of Christmas. I openly admit to people that I am not a religious person; the holidays to me are not about religion. The holidays are about getting together with your family and celebrating another year together. My holiday now is spent trying to figure out how to cram every Christmas together and how much longer I have before moving on to the next stop.

My parents divorce ultimately led to me the biggest lesson from parents, do not get married young, but I am haunted by my ghost from December 23, 2005. I am haunted by the feeling that I am not enjoying the holidays, that my family is getting older and I am staying the same age. I envy that boy from 2005. He did not not know a time when his parents were not together, a time when his family was not complete. He had not graduated college and realized there was more he should have done. He had not lost some of the family that he has wrote about. All that boy knew was high school was almost over and this would be the best Christmas so far. Unfortunately is was the best Christmas ever.



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